There’s only a certain amount of human interaction that I can take. I need to reboot once in a while to prevent any dysfunction. I shut people out, all of them. And I get supremely agitated when someone disrupts this mental detox. My anger skyrockets during this phase, so I choose to keep everyone at a safe distance.
Now, I am someone who’d rather keep myself company than be around those who will eventually make me regret leaving my comfort zone. I’ve become so used to this; now it feels weirdly terrifying to share this space with someone. Of course, I reach out to people but I can’t have long conversations. I am neither interested nor will I remember things that they tell me; unless any of it spikes my curiosity.
I have this beautiful routine in which I take thorough pride. Every time I reach my threshold for stress (usually by the end of exams), I take myself out for a coffee date. And that is the best thing anyone can do for themselves, honestly. The kind of peace and stability I have after a whole day dedicated to me and me alone, is bliss. I usually drive myself to the mall, which is another one of my therapy sessions. I love driving, with loud music that numbs my trivial thoughts. Trust me, music hits differently in cars.
I surf the entire mall, it kind of pushes my social anxiety. And then I treat myself to a good cup of coffee, sometimes accompanied with a chicken kebab burger. I absolutely hate it when I run into acquaintances while I eat alone. That has happened many times. I feel like they pity me for eating alone, *astonishing*. But who cares, I love this routine and I will keep doing it, unapologetically.