S o u l R e t r i e v a l
“Grief is the midwife of your capacity to be immensely grateful for being born.”
- Stephen Jenkinson, “Die Wise”
Everything is always moving and changing, even if it seems to be still. This work I have been learning about and preparing for for a few years to be honest. Then suddenly the channel to my childhood and my pain was opened in a session with my coach, and in those days memories and feelings started abrubtly flooding my life. It seemed all random, the way it came. For instance, while in a yoga pose I would suddenly relive an early memory I had forgotten - smells, sounds and images - and tears would run. I’ve never talked much about my childhood and have always rationalised it, and put it away. I never felt I could talk about where I come from and what happened there, how the war broke us up, ripped us away from our home, about violence and how I had the most difficult time to root myself again to the earth in my new home or to love the people again. At one point I understood that a lot of time I’ve spent grieving, over the great losses that I never acknowledged, without knowing it and thus without doing it properly, with compassion and time. Finally a day after Samhain, a good friend and teacher of mine and I did a ceremony for me, called Soul Retrieval. From an animistic and shamanic point of view, our soul that from birth is carried by our beautiful body, can break, become fragmented or have parts split off from the body when terrifying and traumatic events happen in any stage of our life. Soul Retrieval is a shamanic ceremony that trough prayer (song), ritual and trance journey brings back the lost fragment(s) of the soul, for the person to become whole again and thus for true healing to be possible. I am still in the healing and mending process, loving child selves back again, feeling those lost parts in my body - learning that it all, all those parts, memories and life phases of me, all of it, is this me. That I no longer have to be afraid. Fully taking in that everything that has begun, will flower and will end.
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