where i’m at progress-wise:
i’ve been in a moderate unintentional bulking phase for a while now (completely normal heading into winter). i’ve gained a significant amount of weight (some of which is definitely due to muscle) and have felt myself getting progressively less lean. this sounds so stupid but i honestly think my granola obsession has played a big role (you try purely elizabeth with almond milk and try not to get addicted okay). i got into a vicious cycle of overeating that stuff; id have a few hundred calories left after dinner and be like oh now i can have a bowl of granola. but then i went back for seconds. and thirds. and fourths. and then it turned into an every night thing. this borderline binging problem completely threw my macros out of whack and was prob the root of my weight gain. enough about my granola problems i sound so unbelievably basic and white lmao.
bulking is NOT a bad thing but the fact that i did it unintentionally through binge eating isn’t good. it has been good to be able to gain a lot of strength this way but at the same time it completely tanked my confidence. i’ve agonized so much over what i viewed as reverse progress. i’ve loathed feeling heavier and bigger than i used to (really can’t tell how much of this is in my head). so i did what i always did when i’m unhappy: realize that i need to change and look at my everyday habits. *not that i need to change my weight but that i need to be able to look myself in the mirror with confidence again*. all this week i’ve been making subtle changes to prevent overeating, trying alternative desserts, figuring out portions, loosely tracking to have a handle on my macros, and listening to fullness cues more. my plan is to stay on this “cut” at least until my 18th birthday (day after xmas), cause i wanna feel great then. excited to work hard and see where this journey takes me next.