Day 6 of 7 love-days: Eros. Probably the most familiar - the romantic, sexual & passionate kind of love. In Greek mythology it is said to be a form of madness brought about by one of Cupid’s arrows & Eros has been depicted as a blindfolded child! Well they say love is blind & haven’t we all felt like a kid running head first & blindly into those sublime beginning stages of a new romantic relationship? I certainly have. Many times over.
Well, at the grand old age of 37 last year I had my most surprising epiphany when I realised I did not want a romantic relationship. This was a revelation for me. I had thought I wanted a second child & whilst I still wouldn’t say no if it happened organically, that desire was driving my dating & need to find a mate to procreate with. I wrote a post about this last month but in short, I realised I was carrying shame around only having one child and when that penny dropped, the desire to have a second child almost instantly disappeared. It was incredibly enlightening and freeing.
This made me reevaluate my needs & the list became as follows: •
💓The need to focus on myself
💓The need to focus on my son
💓The need to develop my own business
💓The need for time and space on my own
💓The need to not be needed by anyone, other than my son for a while
💓The need for fun
As all this started to unravel, it was clear that I was feeling very content for the first time with my life. It has taken me a long time to get here. Moreover, I didn’t really have much more to give to another (romantically speaking) without compromising on the needs I listed above. The decision became simple - I decided not to enter into a long term romantic relationship with anyone.
I should mention that at the time, I was at the beginning stages of an early romance & the usual things started to crop up. My time & energy was turning to that relationship & away from my other priorities. Where in the past I would have dived right in & foregone my own needs to focus on a partner; this time I knew it had to be different.
I will write more on my next post about how this played out. Spoiler alert: It. Was. So. Much. Fun.
#selflove #selfcare #love