Unmet expectations are the breeding ground for offenses. The closer the relationship, the bigger the opportunities are for intimacy and offenses. No one can make you really mad like someone you really love. - Pastor @stevenfurtick
Before we got married we did premarital counseling with one of our pastors. It was one of the best things we could’ve done! We spoke about so much, things we didn’t think of to bring up ourselves, especially being in that “honeymoon” phase. We worked off a workbook that helped us set visions and expectations within our marriage. One exercise was a chart that listed “responsibilities” (like cooking, cleaning, child care, working, etc) and we had to write down if we felt like it was more of the husband’s, wife’s, or equal responsibility. Another was to write down expectations we had of each other. Another was about finances... do we share all bank accounts, do we have separate money, what is the specific amount we set a limit for consulting with each other before spending? So many good details to address before they actually happened.
It’s so important to prepare yourself for marriage and once you’re in it, it’s critical to have ongoing open communication about expectations & vision, as well as disappointments. Marriage (& all relationships) are like a garden. You have to constantly tend to it. It’s the unrooted weeds and little foxes that can ruin the beautiful garden if not tended to.