I thought that I had everybody on my side
But I went and blew it, all sky high
And now she won't even spare a passing glance
All just because I (rip) ripped my pants
Let me tell you a little bit about my day today. It starts off great, head to work a little early for cadaver lab for derm surgery practice. Excited that this means I get to wear scrubs. Bragged about how amazing my scrub pants were because they had pockets. Spend a few hours in the lab with my coresidents learning new techniques and procedures. Around 1130, I head back to the car to drive to my afternoon clinic. As I am getting in the car to head over, I hear a huge ripping noise. Nervously I look around. What could that be? Sounded like two pieces of the strongest velcro on Earth being pulled apart. I look down and see the crotch of my scrub pants is completely ripped, allowing my boxers to show through. Not knowing what to do, I think maybe if I zip my jacket, no one will notice. I stop to get lunch with the crew and we talk over ideas but unfortunately no one's whitecoat will fit my big ass. There's 10 minutes left until clinic. I have to think fast. I run next door from the sushi place and see a Modell's sporting goods. Thankfully on the clearance rack are a 9 dollar pair of exercise pants in my size. I grab the pants, check out and run back to the car. I attempt to get back in the car and now the scrub pants tear completely. Thankfully I drive to work and swap pants in the parking garage making it just on time to my clinic. These pants sure are stretchy. On the bright side, I had my most comfortable clinic outfit of the year. I swear this shit only happens to me...