Why do you keep getting stuck in awful relationships? Is it just your luck?
You will probably don't like my answer but:
Because is familiar to you!
The guy plays hard to get, sometimes he is interested sometimes he isn't
Your interest for him kicks in "oh, he is mysterious, I like him"
You call him but he doesn't answer, he takes his time to come back to you. "He isn't needy"
Now you are really interested, can't stop thinking about him, you think you love him
You try to get close, he pushes back emotionally "he is very strong emotionally, he keeps it together"
You want something serious, he is not looking for anything
NOW YOU REALLY WANT HIM!
Congratulations, you are anxious in your attachment style and he is avoidant, he won't be able to meet your emotional needs, but you desire him so bad!
Your view of the world is that people don't want to get as close as you would like them to
His vision of the world is that he is an independent strong man looking for the one
He pushes you back and your brain confirms again that "nobody wants to be close with me"
He rushes away from you and confirms "women are needy and want to cling to me"
You just get together to confirm once again your beliefs!
And the cycle repeats!
Either find a secure man OR change your style to secure!
Why don't you do it?
Because you find secure men boring! Nothing happens, no rollercoaster… weird eh?
And guess what? Avoidant don't date avoidants, so there are many in the pool, because they keep getting dumped by other anxious people!
What do you think about this loop? Leave a comment below!